A Shiksa on a Mission

Balaboosta (n.)(bah-lah-b00-sta) A Yiddish term meaning the perfect housewife
I'm a shiksa on a mission...
It may not be perfection but it's the journey that counts

Sunday, July 17, 2011

The Great Skirt/Apron Debate

I found these two pieces of fabric at the thrift store and thought they would make a cute skirt for Flannery. So, of course, I promptly bought them, took them home and put them in the basement for several months. I'm very methodical in my procrastination. The other day Flannery found them and wanted to make the skirt right now yesterday. She's very methodical in her impatience.

Unfortunately she's also very opinionated. We often try to pinpoint where we went wrong with the girl child and we're pretty sure it was encouraging her to learn how to speak. It has been downhill since that moment. Flannery wants a skirt but she has certain things she wants it to have. She wants a skirt with big pockets to put chicken feed in and a tie in the back that holds it on. So basically she wants an apron like Cinderella wears. I've spent enough time with her, learning her flanguage and understanding her flogic to know what she is trying to say. But when I ask if she wants an apron, she gets a little annoyed and reiterates that she wants a skirt with big pockets for chicken feed to spread gingerly along the ground (she actually mimes this action as if that's what I'm not comprehending) and a tie in the back where the skirt crisscrosses. In other words, she wants an apron. Now we're both annoyed. And I haven't even attacked the notion that whether it's a skirt or an apron, it's purpose will be carrying chicken feed all over the house. I think I finally see a glimmer of logic flood her flogical brain when I ask her why she wants a skirt that opens in the back to show her butt. Her explanation is, duh, she wears another dress under it all and just ties the skirt around her waist. Duh.

I feel the need to also mention that she knows what an apron is. I've made several and have a plethora of them hanging in my kitchen. She wears them to help me cook. She identities them by name: the red apron, the heart apron, the apron Sarah made for you. But she's stuck on this idea of the cute little country girl (who undoubtedly has a horrible mother) feeding the chickens from her skirt/apron while she sings.

It's not easy to explain to her that cartoons are not real. I mean, she gets that....sort of although I'm pretty certain she still wants her hair to flow like some Disney princess which is hard to accomplish being that she's a real live person and not drawn. It's not like she wakes up in the morning and songbirds help her comb her hair or mice make her skirt/apron although I'm starting to wish they would.

Finally we settle on a skirt that has the requisite chicken feed pockets but no opening in the back. The compromise is I'm also going to make her an apron that I'm sure will need big pockets in the front for, I don't know, dog food?

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